When You're Lonely

By Bill Gaultiere (c) 2010

I know what it’s like to feel lonely.

The worst thing is to be in a group of people and feel alone… Other people are enjoying conversation, smiling, laughing, but it appears that no one wants to talk to you and you start to feel more and more self-conscious. It seems like people are looking at you standing there all alone. You feel awkward, anxious, embarrassed, bad about yourself.

Maybe you have felt this way too.

The Psalmist did. He described himself as a lonely bird sitting atop the roof of house and waiting for the Lord (Psalm 102:7).

Time and again the Psalmist shows us how to pray our way out of loneliness and into the arms of the Lord: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Psalm 25:6; see also Psalm 142:4-5). Knowing this way of the Psalmist, “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16).

Over seven years ago I began praying in lonely places with Jesus and I experienced His presence with me – I wasn’t alone! Even in group situations where I found myself left out of conversation I learned to meditate on Scripture and carry on a secret conversation with my Lord – I wasn’t alone!

One day hiking with Jesus I watched a lonely bird and wrote a prayer poem to express how the Lord loved me out of my loneliness:

A Lovely Bird

On the hillside

A lonely bird

Apart from the flock

Standing atop a reed

Blowing in the wind

I’m longing for a friend

~

From the heavens

A Lovely Bird

A heart for the flock

Stooping onto my reed

Dancing in the wind

We’re singing together

The Bible is filled with promises of Comfort for the Lonely.

Jesus is My Refuge

On Palm Sunday Jesus wept over Jerusalem because the people didn’t recognize him (Luke 19:41). Later in Holy Week Jesus cried out for us all: “O how I have longed to gather you as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings!” (Matthew 23:37, paraphrase).

Do you desire to be that close to Christ? David sought to take refuge under the wings of the Lord, snuggled up to his chest. We can “take heart” from him.

In Psalm 61:1-4 David is in a desert wilderness and he prays: “Hear my cry, O God… From the ends of the earth I call to you… Lead me to the rock that is higher than I… I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Selah.”

I can imagine David hiding and praying in a desert cave as the armies of Saul (or his son Absalom) are hunting him down. In his trial he trusted in the Lord as his refuge.

What difficulty are you experiencing? Make the Lord your refuge.

Take a moment to pray “Jesus is My Refuge,” my Breath Prayer inspired by Psalm 61:4. Be still for awhile… Imagine yourself under the wings of Christ who longs for you with tears… See yourself hiding in Christ your cave… Let him embrace you close to his heart…

Breathe in the precious name of the Lord Jesus Christ… Breathe out your longing for him…
Linger in the selah of the Psalmist: breathe in Se (say)… and breathe out lah…

Jesus is My Refuge
Lord Jesus Christ… I long to dwell in your tent forever…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your wings…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your tears…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your cave…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your kingdom…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your embrace…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your holy name…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I long to dwell in your tent forever.

Abiding in Prayer is one of the spiritual exercises that helps me the most. I like to meditate on Scripture in this way for a few quiet minutes in the morning. Then as often as I can remember during the day I practice God’s presence as I do whatever I am doing by praying a line like:
“Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your wings…”

Jesus Smiles at You!

The most important thing in your life is that you see Jesus smiling at you! Then a smile will come to your face and to the people around you!

Do you see Jesus smiling at you? Do you ever pause to think about this and smile your appreciation in reply?

A smile is a powerful prayer! It can help you to overcome discouragement, worry, frustration, loneliness, or boredom – really!

Jesus welcomes you to come closer. He’s interested in how you’re feeling and what you’re doing – he enjoys knowing you and being your Friend. And to have the Lord God Almighty as your Friend is the best blessing!

Jesus opens his heart to you. He wants to encourage you and to guide you on the path of life with him. Follow Jesus and discover that, YOU are the disciple Jesus loves!

Here’s a favorite Breath Prayer of mine that I developed after my first two years of Praying the Psalms with Jesus everyday:

* “Jesus delights in me… I delight in you my Lord” (inspired by Psalm 18:19; 37:4, 23).

Breathe in (with a smile!): “Jesus delights in me…”

Breathe out (still smiling!): “I delight in you my Lord.”

Try it for a few minutes now, slowly and softly repeating it over and over…

As you go about your day breathe it in and out whenever you can remember: “Jesus delights in me… I delight in you my Lord.”

One breath. One prayer. It may seem like a little thing but it can make help you to do whatever you’re doing with and for Jesus – and to smile with the joy of the Lord!

Small Beginnings

What makes for a “good day”? For me it starts with prayer.

This morning I awoke early. My thoughts started down the path of planning all I had to do and I started to feel anxious… How easy it is for me at that point to get out of bed and go to work!

Instead, as CS Lewis described so aptly, I shoved back all those “wild animals” and began to pray! I laid in bed. I grabbed an ancient little prayer and held on for dear life!

“Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me!”

“Have mercy on me, O Lord” is how Psalm 51 begins, my Psalm for the morning. This is s a favorite Centering Prayer of mine.

As I laid in bed I slowly breathed in and out the words: “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me.” I confessed my sins. I submitted each aspect of my day to God. I interceded for people I’ll be interacting with today.

And I’m shooting up little “arrow prayers” today: “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me!”

A simple prayer of the heart in the morning is a small doorway to a good day. It’s like the door to the Basilica of the Nativity in Bethlehem that leads to the sacred site of the birth of Christ. I’ll never forget stooping down so low to get into this ancient church that shelters the holy ground where Jesus first touched the earth.

The same little prayer can “rebuild” a day that’s not going well. The prophet Zechariah teaches that small beginnings are crucial to great successes. It was his encouragement along these lines that helped the Israelites to complete the rebuilding of their temple after they returned from captivity in Babylon (Zechariah 4:10).

Trying to get more done in less time?

I was talking with a friend who likes to drive in the fast lane. He thrives on trying to get more done in less time in order to be successful. He’s very productive… and stressed.

He doesn’t realize that he’s continually recruiting adrenaline to give him the boost of energy and confidence that he feels he needs to handle all of his responsibilities. His body’s production of adrenaline is like his own drug manufacturing plant! He has adrenaline dependence.

Other people get their adrenaline hits through extreme sports, risky behavior, or loud music.

Adrenaline is God’s gift to us. It’s meant to help us respond to emergencies and urgent needs. Used sparingly it’s a good thing. Used continually it wears down your body and diminishes your life. (Doctors have called this “hurry sickness.”) You get to the point where it’s hard to slow down and enjoy the little blessings in each day – birds singing, children playing, relaxing with a friend, prayer.

It’s difficult for people like my friend to get off of adrenaline. It feels so good! It helps them to get more done. And when they slow down (and aren’t stimulating themselves with adrenaline) they feel tired, empty, and depressed.

I myself have overcome adrenaline dependence. And I’ve helped pastors and other leaders get off the destructive habit of relying on the body’s “speed.”

Freedom comes with learning to set boundaries on work and “urgent” demands and slow down your pace of life. It can be helpful to practice slowing down your pace of life by driving in the slow lane on the road in order to enjoy music (that’s not too loud!) or to pray. Best of all is to learn the value of spending large blocks of time in silence and solitude in order to “be still” with Jesus. (Start with 30 minutes and build from there.)

Slowing down can’t be learned in a “self-help” program. You might have adrenaline withdrawals. You’ll probably feel bored, restless, or insignificant. You need to “process” your emotions with someone and to get coaching on learning new ways of coping with stress.

Rejoicing on a Mundane Monday

Much of our lives includes ordinary work and chores. We all have to do things that don't excite us at work or around the house or in running errands. It's easy to lapse into feeling bored, empty, or like we are trivial. Or to complain (in our thoughts if not out loud) about what we have to do.

This was my temptation beginning my Monday.

To keep from grumping along today I picked up a special prayer rock. It's piece of the outdoor stone theatre in Sephoris Israel. Jesus may have helped to build this marvelous theatre where the "play actors" (same word as "hypocrite" in the Bible) performed.

As I've held my rock today I've thought about Jesus working hour after hour as a carpenter or a stone cutter. I've thought about my "Blue Collar Savior" smiling as he serves hard to please customers and blesses them when they complain. I've imagined him meditating on Scripture and praying while he worked.

For most of his life on earth Jesus worked an ordinary job in an obscure village, loving God and people, praying and playing with his Father, day after day.

Today, Jesus is helping me to appreciate his presence in my midst. In the words of the Apostle John: "I am the disciple Jesus loves!"

Could there be any greater cause for rejoicing than that? Even on a mundane Monday!

The King is Enthralled with You!

Do you know that the King is enthralled with your personality? The Lord God who flung the stars in the sky and calls them each by name is delighted in and captivated by you! You are beautiful to him! He finds you interesting and important! (See Psalm 45, especially verse 11).

Jesus is so drawn to love us that he relates to us as Bridegroom to his bride! Wow! We can intimate with Jesus, passionately in love with him as he is with us!

How could we not honor him as our Lord and King? How could we not seek to live as servants of his kingdom in all that we do?

Pray with me - now and in the midst of whatever you're doing today, "With joy I embrace Christ in his kingdom" (Based on Psalm 45, especially verse 15).

Let the prayer descend from your mind down into your heart... "With joy I embrace Christ in his kingdom."

Keep this prayer open in a window on the computer screen of your mind. Picture Jesus shining in white robes and glowing as he embraces you in love.

This prayer puts a smile on my face! It warms my heart! In all that I do today it's helping me to look to Jesus and to follow his lead and rely on his grace.

How does this prayer effect you?

Staying Hydrated with Spirit Water

Have you ever gotten dehydrated?

I went for a long jog of about 14 miles in the heat yesterday. I love to run in the hills and pray and meditate. I got a late start and it was a HOT day! I drank lots of water before I ran, but didn't have any with me. I thought if I loaded up I'd be okay.

By the time I finished jogging I was really dragging. Afterward, I drank glass after glass of water. It took me the rest of the day to get fully hydrated!

What's the lesson? It's not enough to drink lots of water all at once - you have to keep drinking water.

It's the same way in our relationship with the Holy Spirit. He's the Living Water that our souls thirst for, but we can't drink him up all at once! We need to keep drinking in his presence through prayer. That's why Paul teaches us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

And when we're fully hydrated with the Spirit then we can become like a fountain that overflows with the Spirit to others.

Meditating on verses, thoughts, and images from Scripture - especially from the Psalms - is what helps me to keep drinking in the Spirit's living waters.

What helps you to stay hydrated with Living Water?

Pausing to Breathe a Prayer

I've been learning that prayer can be like breathing - something we do continuously and automatically without even thinking about it. I love using short phrases of Scripture as "Breath Prayers."

Breathing in and out God's Word as I go about my day connects me with God, adds tremendous meaning to my life, and gives me such peace. I've found that there are many "idle" spaces in any given day for prayer moments, like when I'm transitioning from one activity to the next, driving, waiting, getting ready in the morning, or preparing to go to bed at night (or laying in bed awake!).

To offer a Breath Prayer it helps to breathe in deeply and slowly, taking about 10 seconds for a breath. Learn to breathe (and pray) from your stomach - gently.
With each breath or two offer to God your short Scripture prayer.

The last couple of days I've been praying a favorite Breath Prayer inspired by Psalm 39, especially verses 5 and 11...

"My life is a breath... Selah.
I am a breath... Selah.
My life is God's breath... Forever.
I am God's breath... Forever."

(Note that the word "selah" is used in the Psalms and probably means, "Pause to reflect and pray.")

Join me in praying this Breath Prayer right now...

Breathe in deep and slow from your stomach... Hold your breath, longer than normal... Release slowly and gently... Wait to breathe longer than is comfortable to let your body feel the longing for God's Word and Spirit...

Without even using any words your breathing is expressing your prayerful intention to connnect with God...

Gently repeat this breathing prayer (You may need to practice this for it to become natural and easy and be able to experience being in the flow of the Spirit of God!)

Now, as you breathe in whisper God's Word: "My life is a breath"... Hold God's Word inside you... Release as you you whisper: "Selah"... Wait to breathe as you feel your longing for God...

Slowly and gently repeat for each phrase.

Try memorizing the prayer I wrote or one of the phrases in it and return to your Breath Prayer as often as you can during the day. Make a game of it! How many times can you remember to breathe in God's Word to you? Three? Thirty? Three hundred?!!!!

Please share your experience with us in the Christian Soul Care blog...

I made a mistake and God blessed me...

Awhile ago on the Christian Soul Care Blog I referred to building a library in the loft of our home. Designing and building built-in bookcases and desks has been quite a challenge! So much measuring, cutting, staining, building...

It's a reminder of why it'd cost me upwards of $10,000 to have someone else do the work.

Yesterday, God gave me a great blessing...

I had made a mistake on my cuts for one of the base board pieces - getting those angles right, especially with a hand saw!, is difficult. So I was disappointed and frustrated when I had to set the board aside to be thrown out - along with a few others! That felt like getting a sore arm and working 30 minutes for nothing.

Of course, so much of life is like that: doing little jobs, making mistakes on things, feeling unproductive... I know that all of life is meaningful, that it's an opportunity to pray. And as I work I remind myself to pray. Sometimes on this library project I've prayed, "Lord Jesus, I want to be a good carpenter like you, to build things and people for you." But often I'm not so prayerful and just I'm just pushing through the work and getting tired, stressed, or frustrated.

So my blessing was when I realized that the "throw away" piece of wood happened to fit just right and have the angles just right for an odd section I was about to measure and cut for.

God reminded me that he redeems my mistakes and my sins; through Christ, God brings good things even out of my bad! This helps me not go into guilt or self-condemnation when I make a mistake. It's better to just run into Jesus' open arms!

A Little but Powerful Prayer for Lent

One of the things I'm doing for Lent is carrying a rock in my pocket. Sounds like a funny thing to do, huh?

It's a prayer rock. I have a number of them. I found this one in Israel at what may have been the Apostle Paul's prison cell at the palace in Caesarea by the Sea.

I use it to remind me to shoot up little arrow prayes as I go about my day: "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain" (the Apostle Paul's words in Philippians 1:21).

Sometimes I breathe in deep and slow as I whisper: "To live is Christ." I hold my breath to help me hold the Spirit and the Word in my consciousness. Then I release: "To die is gain." My exhaling a prayer helps me to let go of agendas and ambitions and to follow Christ's leadership.

The rock and the prayer remind me to turn my thoughts toward Christ and his sacrifice for me and you.

Maybe you've tried a form of Centering Prayer that you'd like to share? Or perhaps you have a way you're celebrating Lent that could encourage others?

Building a Life

I've been building a library with desks and bookcases in the loft of our home. This includes computer workstations for our kids.

I loved designing this. I also like working with the wood. But the painting and staining and touch up is a real drag! And there are so many pieces to fit together right - a few times I've had to re-do whole sections which was quite discouraging!

Years ago I learned that the reality of completing a project is so much more difficult than the idea of it. When I start out I can see what it'll look like in my mind, but completing the project takes so long! It's hard for me to be patient with the process.

Life is the same. Moving from a dream to a reality is a process. What's helping me to be more patient and to find more meaning in the process of whatever I'm building is to put God first.

So I seek to listen to God's dreams for me, work on the project with him by being prayerful as I do it, and accept that however the project goes (it seems there are always disappointments and frustrations!) it's an opportunity for me to learn from Jesus.

May Jesus be the Master Builder in our lives and may we find meaning in assisting him.