When You're Lonely

By Bill Gaultiere (c) 2010

I know what it’s like to feel lonely.

The worst thing is to be in a group of people and feel alone… Other people are enjoying conversation, smiling, laughing, but it appears that no one wants to talk to you and you start to feel more and more self-conscious. It seems like people are looking at you standing there all alone. You feel awkward, anxious, embarrassed, bad about yourself.

Maybe you have felt this way too.

The Psalmist did. He described himself as a lonely bird sitting atop the roof of house and waiting for the Lord (Psalm 102:7).

Time and again the Psalmist shows us how to pray our way out of loneliness and into the arms of the Lord: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Psalm 25:6; see also Psalm 142:4-5). Knowing this way of the Psalmist, “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16).

Over seven years ago I began praying in lonely places with Jesus and I experienced His presence with me – I wasn’t alone! Even in group situations where I found myself left out of conversation I learned to meditate on Scripture and carry on a secret conversation with my Lord – I wasn’t alone!

One day hiking with Jesus I watched a lonely bird and wrote a prayer poem to express how the Lord loved me out of my loneliness:

A Lovely Bird

On the hillside

A lonely bird

Apart from the flock

Standing atop a reed

Blowing in the wind

I’m longing for a friend

~

From the heavens

A Lovely Bird

A heart for the flock

Stooping onto my reed

Dancing in the wind

We’re singing together

The Bible is filled with promises of Comfort for the Lonely.

Good Shepherd is Looking for You!

You long to be pursued in love. So do I.

“How are you… really? What do you need? What are you hoping for? How can I pray for you?” When someone expresses genuine personal interest in you it is healing. When you open up to grace it is life-giving.

But somewhere along the line we all have felt rejected… devalued… unknown… lost…

And we have learned to deny our hurts… not have emotional needs… distract ourselves from our inner pain… isolate…

We must come to the point where we cry out to God with the Psalmist: “May my cry come before you, O Lord… May your hand be ready to help me… I long for your salvation… I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant” (Psalm 119:169, 173-4, 176).

Jesus Christ answers this prayer – the first time you pray it to become a Christian and everyday that you are hurting or lost in some way. He promised us: “I go after my lost sheep until I find it” (Luke 15:4, paraphrase).

The Good Shepherd is always looking for you – to know you and be known by you, to invite you into a more personal and loving relationship. The question for you and for me – right now and every moment of every day – is are we looking to connect with Him?

Pray with me my little prayer inspired by the last verses of Psalm 119:

O Jesus, I have strayed like a lost sheep. May your hand help me…

Cry out to the Good Shepherd! Repeat the prayer of the Psalmist again and again, slowly, until it lives in you and your heart is warmed with the realization: the Spirit of Christ is indeed living in me and He is shepherding my soul in love now and always!

O Jesus, I have strayed like a lost sheep. May your hand help me…

Learning to Abide in Prayer has helped me to connect deeply with Christ’s love and to share it with others. I do it everyday. I invite you to practice with me this delightful way of prayerful meditation on Scripture.

The Bible is full of wonderful promises that God loves us in the way that a shepherd cares for his sheep. As part of a retreat I lead that is based on Psalm 23 I share Bible verses on the theme of “Walking with Good Shepherd.”

Jesus is My Refuge

On Palm Sunday Jesus wept over Jerusalem because the people didn’t recognize him (Luke 19:41). Later in Holy Week Jesus cried out for us all: “O how I have longed to gather you as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings!” (Matthew 23:37, paraphrase).

Do you desire to be that close to Christ? David sought to take refuge under the wings of the Lord, snuggled up to his chest. We can “take heart” from him.

In Psalm 61:1-4 David is in a desert wilderness and he prays: “Hear my cry, O God… From the ends of the earth I call to you… Lead me to the rock that is higher than I… I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Selah.”

I can imagine David hiding and praying in a desert cave as the armies of Saul (or his son Absalom) are hunting him down. In his trial he trusted in the Lord as his refuge.

What difficulty are you experiencing? Make the Lord your refuge.

Take a moment to pray “Jesus is My Refuge,” my Breath Prayer inspired by Psalm 61:4. Be still for awhile… Imagine yourself under the wings of Christ who longs for you with tears… See yourself hiding in Christ your cave… Let him embrace you close to his heart…

Breathe in the precious name of the Lord Jesus Christ… Breathe out your longing for him…
Linger in the selah of the Psalmist: breathe in Se (say)… and breathe out lah…

Jesus is My Refuge
Lord Jesus Christ… I long to dwell in your tent forever…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your wings…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your tears…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your cave…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your kingdom…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your embrace…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your holy name…
Se… lah…

Lord Jesus Christ… I long to dwell in your tent forever.

Abiding in Prayer is one of the spiritual exercises that helps me the most. I like to meditate on Scripture in this way for a few quiet minutes in the morning. Then as often as I can remember during the day I practice God’s presence as I do whatever I am doing by praying a line like:
“Lord Jesus Christ… I take refuge in the shelter of your wings…”

One Thing

In the Bible David is called a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22). What does it mean that David had a heart for God?

David longed to draw closer to the Lord. He devoted his whole heart to God. His Psalms are filled with this holy longing of his soul for more of God.

We know that sometimes David strayed from his devotion to the Lord. He had an affair with Bathsheba and then arranged for her husband Uriah to be killed in battle! He neglected his children. He had issues with pride and anger, particularly in his reign as king. But the difficulties that David had living out his whole-hearted dedication to the Lord make him all the more appealing of a role model – we can relate to him!

I urge you to join me and “take heart” from David. Let the heat of his devotion for the Lord warm your heart. Let David’s Psalm 27 prayer kindle the fires of devotion to God in your heart.

My prayer “One Thing” is inspired by Psalm 27. Use it to focus your heart on Christ and his cross as your One Thing to live for.

I am phasing out the "Christian Soul Care Blog" and replacing it with my "Soul Shepherding Blog." 1-2 times per week I post a short prayer practice there. I invite you to sign up.

Devoted to You

David is known as a man after God’s heart because of the way he prays. I so desire to be known as one who has a heart for God, don’t you?

You and I can grow to be more of a person after God’s heart! David shows us how in Psalm 86. In prayer dedicate each aspect of your person to the Lord. Psalm 86 is not well-known, but it’s one of my favorite of David’s prayers. It’s a prayer of whole-hearted devotion to the Lord. Let’s “take heart” from David!

Join me in praying “Devoted to You,” a prayer I adapted from Psalm 86. Linger on each line, praying it slowly and deeply to consecrate all that you are and all that you do the Lord God…

Devoted to You

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul:

Guard my life, O Lord, for I am devoted to you;

Guard my heart, O Father, for I love you with all my choices;

Guard my mind, O Jesus, for I fix my thoughts on following you;

Guard my body, O Spirit, for I give it to be your temple;

Guard my relationships, O Trinity, for I center my conversations on you.

Hear my prayer, O Lord.

~

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul:

I offer my eyes to you, O Lord, to behold your beauty;

I offer my lips to you, O Father, to speak your praises;

I offer my ears to you, O Jesus, to listen to your words;

I offer my steps to you, O Spirit, to follow your movements;

I offer my life to you, O Trinity, to honor you alone.

Hear my prayer, O Lord.

~

Learn more about how You Can Be the Disciple Jesus Loves!

Be Still as the Lake at Dawn

Have you ever meditated on a nature setting as a way to listen to God? God reveals himself and his purposes for us through his creation. Praying a Psalm in its Nature Setting is a favorite spiritual practice of mine.

For instance, many times in the early morning I have met with Jesus by meditating at Woodbridge North Lake near my home in Irvine, CA.

The image of the still lake is imbeded deep in my conscious and my prayers. It draws me into the quiet. It opens my heart to listen. It centers me in God’s presence. It reflects heaven to me in surprising ways.

And it inspired my prayer poem: “Be Still.”
Be Still

Be still as the lake at Dawn

In a world that wakes to alarms and agendas:

Quietly rest so you can listen;

Breathe and open to your soul;

Wait patiently to receive what is to come,

Softly absorb the light as a looking glass.

~

Be still to know the I AM;

Let the “rush hour” pass by your silence:

The Voice whispers to create Life;

It swims and plays deep within you;

As holy feet step upon your waters

Heaven’s Face smiles upon you

– and out from you.

~

Be still as the lake at Dawn;

Be still to know the I AM;

In a world that wakes to alarms and agendas

Let the “rush hour” pass by your silence.

~

Quietly rest so you can listen:

The Voice whispers to create Life;

Breathe and open to your soul

It swims and plays deep within you.

~

Wait patiently to receive what is to come,

As holy feet step upon your waters;

Softly absorb the light as a looking glass,

Heaven’s Face smiles upon you

– and out from you.

God's Word to Me (and to You!)

Today I spent extended time alone with the Lord in prayer and meditation. Part of that time I meditated on Psalm 19 as I sat outside by a lake in the sunshine.

In Psalm 19 we are reminded that God is speaking to us in his creation and his law. If only we will be still… Open the eyes of our heart… Breathe in deep… Listen…

We see his beauty. We hear his wisdom. We know he is Love. We sense his heart reaching out to draw us close and embrace us in love. We trust his goodness transforming us into his own image. We share him with every person that we can.

O Beauty of beauties! O Wisdom of wisdom! O Word of life! O Jesus!

Let me prayer poem based on Psalm 19 help you to breathe in and out the name that is above all names…

God’s Word to Me

Jesus… You are God’s Son shining in the heavens

Jesus… I smile in your light

Jesus… You are my Bridegroom coming for me

Jesus… I hold you in my heart

Jesus… You are my Champion rejoicing to run your course

Jesus… I follow you

Jesus… You are God’s Law restoring souls

Jesus… I study and obey you

Jesus… You are more precious than gold

Jesus… I give up all for you

Jesus… You are sweeter than honey

Jesus… I delight in you

Jesus… You are God’s Word to me

Jesus… I love to speak your name

Thirsty for Jesus!

I had too much to do today. But thank God I kept my Sabbath anyway to walk in the hills and go into quiet prayer.

I set aside ministry opportunities, but they came with me in my head! So I kept setting aside all these good thoughts for the best thoughts. I let the beauty of God’s creation and the prayers of the Psalmist draw me into Christ’s wonderful presence.

Eventually all that was left was Jesus. And in Jesus I found delight!

Later I prayed about ministry matters and then I did the work of ministry in Jesus’ easy yoke.

O Jesus! O that I would live with you in this way.

O Jesus!

(A prayer of paraphrases from Psalm 63 verses 1 and 3)

O Jesus!

My soul thirsts for you! – for your Spirit’s living waters;

My whole being from the inside out yearns for your presence;

My personality clings to you to hold me together, upright;

My inner depths look up to you, longing for your smile;

My soul cries out to you, to flow in your life now and forever.

O Jesus!

Your love is better than life! – better than any other thing;

Your presence with me is the only thing that satisfies me;

Your personality – wonderfully complete – is what embraces me;

Your deep mercy and grace is all that I live for;

Your life in me and through me to others is my greatest joy.

O Jesus!

My soul thirsts for you! – for your Spirit’s living waters;

Your love is better than life! – better than any other thing;

My whole being from the inside out yearns for your presence;

Your presence with me is the only thing that satisfies me;

My personality clings to you to hold me together, upright;

Your personality – wonderfully complete – is what embraces me;

My inner depths look up to you, longing for your smile;

Your deep mercy and grace is all that I live for;

My soul cries out to you, to flow in your life now and forever.

Your life in me and through me to others is my greatest joy.

In Jesus' Name

Probably you offer many prayers "in Jesus' name." What does this mean?

To pray in Jesus' name is to pray by and for him, with his strength and for his purposes.

Names in the Bible always refer to the character behind the name. So to pray in Jesus' name is to pray with and for his character, to pray in the way that he prayed and for the purposes that he prayed.

Imagine how it would change our lives to do that!

Have you ever studied the way Jesus prayed? He often went away by himself to seek the Father alone. He used the Psalms. He was quiet. He waited to make decisions and he listened. He acted on what he discerned from the Father. He learned how to do whatever he did as an expression of prayer.

Today there are a lot of "experts" giving us advice to solve all sorts of problems (many of them are psychologists like myself). We wouldn't need most of these "solutions" to improve our lives if we simply learned this one thing: how to pray in Jesus' name.

The King is Enthralled with You!

Do you know that the King is enthralled with your personality? The Lord God who flung the stars in the sky and calls them each by name is delighted in and captivated by you! You are beautiful to him! He finds you interesting and important! (See Psalm 45, especially verse 11).

Jesus is so drawn to love us that he relates to us as Bridegroom to his bride! Wow! We can intimate with Jesus, passionately in love with him as he is with us!

How could we not honor him as our Lord and King? How could we not seek to live as servants of his kingdom in all that we do?

Pray with me - now and in the midst of whatever you're doing today, "With joy I embrace Christ in his kingdom" (Based on Psalm 45, especially verse 15).

Let the prayer descend from your mind down into your heart... "With joy I embrace Christ in his kingdom."

Keep this prayer open in a window on the computer screen of your mind. Picture Jesus shining in white robes and glowing as he embraces you in love.

This prayer puts a smile on my face! It warms my heart! In all that I do today it's helping me to look to Jesus and to follow his lead and rely on his grace.

How does this prayer effect you?

A Friend who Sticks Closer than a Brother

The Wisdom of Solomon says, "A person with many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). Do you have a friend like this?

The best and most faithful friend we could have is Jesus. The most important thing we can do in life is to cultivate our relationship with him. There are many ways to do this. Perhaps the most needed in our culture is to set aside a block of time simply to "hang out" with Jesus, just like you would with a friend.

"Jesus, what shall we do together today?" This is how I begin my Sabbath day, which is usually on Fridays.

Last Friday, Jesus and I went back to the ocean. We talked about many things as we walked on the beach and on the bluffs above. We sat together on a rock surrounded by water.

I prayed Psalm 131. I meditated on it and journaled from it. I imagined going to the Lord like a child just as David describes in the Psalm. I remembered Jesus saying, "Bring the little children to me" and I brought the boy in me to Jesus! I journaled from it. I sang it to the One I love. 100's of times over the course of the day I prayed a line I adapted from it: "Jesus, you are enough for me!"

Jesus wants to be our Friend! And he restores our soul when we spend time together as friends.

How do you cultivate friendship with Jesus?

Trailblazing in the Forest

While Kristi and I were in the mountains last weekend I worked on the hiking trail that I made a couple of years ago. It's a about a mile long loop that goes through the national forest property behind her family's cabin. (It ties into some dirt fire roads so I didn't have to blaze the whole trail!)

I so enjoy this trail that meanders through towering cedars, pine, and oak trees and opens into blue skies and views of Lake Arrowhead way below. And because its spring there were dogwood trees in bloom and wildflowers everywhere!

Of all the trails that I walk, hike, or jog this is my favorite because I designed and built it and maintain it! I love taking family and friends on the trail. The thought of people I don't even know using the trail brings a smile to my face. God has created us to be creative along with him and so it's no wonder that we find such joy in creating anything that is beautiful or helpful.

My hope is that others who walk the trail will appreciate nature's beauty and be drawn closer to God as I am. Beauty inspires us to give thanks and praise to our Creator. This is why the Psalms and parables of Jesus and all of Scripture are full of references to nature.

For me trails represent finding our way in life - they're symbols of prayer. For instance, the Psalms are prayer paths. And the Lord's Prayer is a basket of five spiritual trails: thanks and praise, submission to God, petition, confession, and overcoming sin.

How do you connect with God in nature? What helps you to walk the path of life with Jesus?

Pausing to Breathe a Prayer

I've been learning that prayer can be like breathing - something we do continuously and automatically without even thinking about it. I love using short phrases of Scripture as "Breath Prayers."

Breathing in and out God's Word as I go about my day connects me with God, adds tremendous meaning to my life, and gives me such peace. I've found that there are many "idle" spaces in any given day for prayer moments, like when I'm transitioning from one activity to the next, driving, waiting, getting ready in the morning, or preparing to go to bed at night (or laying in bed awake!).

To offer a Breath Prayer it helps to breathe in deeply and slowly, taking about 10 seconds for a breath. Learn to breathe (and pray) from your stomach - gently.
With each breath or two offer to God your short Scripture prayer.

The last couple of days I've been praying a favorite Breath Prayer inspired by Psalm 39, especially verses 5 and 11...

"My life is a breath... Selah.
I am a breath... Selah.
My life is God's breath... Forever.
I am God's breath... Forever."

(Note that the word "selah" is used in the Psalms and probably means, "Pause to reflect and pray.")

Join me in praying this Breath Prayer right now...

Breathe in deep and slow from your stomach... Hold your breath, longer than normal... Release slowly and gently... Wait to breathe longer than is comfortable to let your body feel the longing for God's Word and Spirit...

Without even using any words your breathing is expressing your prayerful intention to connnect with God...

Gently repeat this breathing prayer (You may need to practice this for it to become natural and easy and be able to experience being in the flow of the Spirit of God!)

Now, as you breathe in whisper God's Word: "My life is a breath"... Hold God's Word inside you... Release as you you whisper: "Selah"... Wait to breathe as you feel your longing for God...

Slowly and gently repeat for each phrase.

Try memorizing the prayer I wrote or one of the phrases in it and return to your Breath Prayer as often as you can during the day. Make a game of it! How many times can you remember to breathe in God's Word to you? Three? Thirty? Three hundred?!!!!

Please share your experience with us in the Christian Soul Care blog...

A Caveman Prayer

Have you ever prayed in a cave? Yesterday I did.

You may know that I've been praying the Psalms everyday for the last year and a half. I've noticed that some of David's best prayers were in a cave, like Psalm 57 and 142 (and probably others like Psalm 27 and 61).

So I figured that to be "a man of prayer" (Psalm 109:4) like David it might help if I spent some time being "a caveman" like him!

Indeed, meditating on Psalm 57 in a cave for a couple of hours helped me to connect more deeply with what it means to make God my refuge. I realized that God is more than a cave I can flee to in order to escape my troubles. In all the situations of my life I can find refuge in God through prayer, snuggling under His wings and walking in His shadow. David models for us that this is the way to awaken His dawn from deep within - in the midst of any situation we may find ourselves in.

My Prayer Poem based on Psalm 57 expresses this:

The Cave
Hidden
In a cave
Surrounded by lions
Under His wings

Alone
In the dark
Assaulted by accusations
Following His shadow

Quiet
In my soul
Troubled by hardships
Joining His prayers

Alert
In the night
Besieged by lies
Awakening His dawn

As you pray today, both in your devotions and as you go about your day, imagine yourself hidden in a secret cave with God as your refuge. What is this like for you?

Talk to Your Soul in Prayer, Part 1

In the Psalms, the Bible's great "soul book," the psalmist talks to his soul (as if it were another person) as he prays to God. He recruits his soul to be alert before God:
“Awake, my soul! Awake harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn” (Psalm 57:8)

Praying the Psalms I discovered that eleven times the Psalmist awakens his soul to God by crying out, "O my soul!"

I have found it helpful to talk to my soul in prayer, to get myself to be alert before God so that I can connect with him and follow Christ. Praying the Psalms really helps me to awaken to God's presence.

What helps to awaken your soul to God?