Is your Soul Replenished?

Yesterday I listed to a talk that Bill Hybels gave to a group of pastors and leaders. Bill is one of the most respected pastors in the world - and rightly so. As a teenager growing up in the Chicago area I went to his church in its early years. Bill was sharing about the need for spiritual renewal in these economically stressful times.

Courageously, he confessed to being like a "Leadership-aholic." For decades as a minister he has given his all to leading others to follow Christ. And sometimes he's given too much of himself, worked too long and moved too fast, perhaps relying on adrenaline (which can be addicting) until he found himself exhausted. 20 years ago he said he wrote in his journal:

"The pace at which I'm doing the work of God is destroying the work of God in me."

Recently, he caught himself overdoing again and has been drawn by the Holy Spirit to spend more time in "slow prayer and meditation" and surrendering himself more fully to Christ. He's beginning each morning with some spacious time to connect deeply with Christ and listen to him.

He said that the best thing a leader brings is a soul replenished by God so he or she can lead others out of confidence in Christ. This means being submitted to Christ each day.

I relate to Bill's story of overworking in ministry. I find that as I pursue intimacy with Christ I am able to minister out of the overflow of Christ's ministry to me.

How about you?

Soul Talk

I've been married for 23 years and most of those years I've been doing marriage and relationship counseling for others. I've learned that good relationships have lots of "Soul Talk."

To engage in Soul Talk with your spouse or friend you have to let go of trying to get him or her to do something! Much of the stress and conflict in relationships is because of expectations and agendas, trying to fix and placing blame.

When you have been disappointed or hurt by someone it's not helpful to say things like, "You shouldn't ______." Or, "I feel like you're trying to ________." These are examples of trying to manage another person. Abandon your project! Let go!

Instead, try using Soul Talk. Try inviting your spouse or friend to understand your experience or what you desire. Communicate your emotions instead of your perceptions. Take a posture of personal responsibility and vulnerability. Try saying things like, "I was hurt when you ________. I felt criticized." Or, "It'd really help me if you could set aside some time to listen to me."

Good marriages and soul friendships have lots of heart-to-heart sharing with honesty and empathy.

What helps facilitate Soul Talk in your relationships with significant others?